In the Club

I read the book, joined the Facebook Group, followed the advice: The 5am Club has been an amazing routine that I have followed for the most part of the last year.

Admittedly, it was more of a 5.30am club for me, but I loved being in the exclusive club of people who got up early, got straight out of bed, into workout clothes, 20min workout (thank you Joe Wicks), 20min meditation or journalling, 20min learning.

Boom.

A great sense of achievement before the rest of the family's alarm clocks have even gone off.

I felt great.

Of course at the beginning, it was tough, but, as Robin Sharma promised, it got easier and so mechanical that after a few months it felt strange to think about not doing it.

Why am I sharing this? Not to blow my own trumpet, or to even recommend the book (I actually didn't really like the format and felt it could be condensed - as you will find with a quick google search - into a few illustrations and tables).

I'm sharing this because last night I set the alarm for 5.15am as usual, but, this morning, I turned it off, rolled over and slept for another hour.

So I'm processing how I'm feeling right now:

I am disappointed in myself.

I am worried that this is the beginning of the end and it'll slip away along with all the benefits I've felt (energised, focussed, positive, calm).

I'm worried that it's set me off to such a bad start to the day that, following the logic that the early morning routine sets me up for succes, the rest of the day is going to be a total failure.

I know the way out of this. Be kind to myself. It's just one day. It's fine!

I'm wondering if 'being kind' to myself is just a way to fob off how I'm really feeling, how I should be feeling, that I've failed. I am a failure.

Wow: my thoughts are powerful.

Thoughts are powerful. They have the power to make or break a day, a person, a community, the world.

Wow.

I take a walk, the trusted route to the upper lake in Roundhay Park which never fails to offer me something...

I stop at the bench.

I breathe in.

I take a photo.

I move to a different view and take another photo, using a different ratio on the camera feature on my phone.

Today I am offered perspective.

Zoom out, take another look, from a different angle.

Try out a day, a Monday, from a different angle.

It's fine. It's quite fun really, it doesn't have to lead to despair.

And I know that tomorrow I can choose whether to jump back into the club ... or not.