The Humble Lunch

Being someone who's based at home most of the time, my lunch tends to be dictated by what's in the fridge that needs eating.

Various boxes of tupperware with varying amounts of various things tend to get put on a plate, heated in the microwave and consumed to energise me for the afternoon.

Failing that, there's always the trusted cheese sandwich, or a banana (the one that's closest to being over-ripe, of course).

Everyone else in the family has a fresh meal prepared for them - either at school, or, in the case of my husband, by one of the numerous lunch outlets near his office.

Today, I spontaneously, albeit a bit self-consciously, decided to walk up the road, to one of the (fewer) numerous cafes near my house, for lunch. I felt a bit stupid, and lonely, walking up. Maybe I'd just walk a circuit and go home and find something to eat in the fridge. I could just grab a banana; they definitely need eating. This is too indulgent - I have no reason to do this. I should just go back home.

I could feel the chipping away of my self esteem. As is the case sometimes, I had spent a lot of time at home, alone, in front of my computer, and I needed a change of scenery, and some company - even if it was just a brief exchange with the waiter. I steeled myself and was determined to give myself a proper lunch.

Then a brilliant idea popped into my head - I'd see if my good friend, who lives and works very locally, was free. I sent her a message. What a stupid thing to do - now I'd feel even more lonely, and stupid, when she gives her apologies because she's too busy.

I went and bought the newspaper and stomped determinedly to the cafe. I've got this. I can do this. I'll order a fresh lunch and read the paper for twenty minutes.

My phone lit up with a new message; "Go on then! see you in a few mins x"

My body language, energy and outlook changed instantly.

I was made up. I was delighted.

Within ten minutes we were each enjoying a delicious onion bhaji wrap with a refreshing elderflower cordial, sitting and catching up in the sunshine together.

Today is the 40th day of the Omer - the period between Pesach and Shavuot. In the Mussar (a form of Jewish wisdom) tradition, each day has a mystical meaning, and today it is the encounter between Humility and Nurturing.

Wow.

Sometimes my humility makes me feel small, and that I should just grab something out of the fridge for lunch. Today, I learned that through taking up a bit more space in the world, through feeling worthy of treating myself to a cafe lunch, it not only nourished and nurtured me, but also my hard working and very deserving friend of some nurturing attention too.